Relationship The Goldilocks Principle Seeking Balance

Good day, Bashar. Andrew, you good day. I'm very excited. I made it over here from Austria because of your video about money. Oh, all right. I was able to get here without money. Thank you. Thank you. So, yeah, I met a nice man here with whom I fell in love. whom I fell in love. And this is a wonderful thing. And when I look at him, I see what a wonderful creator I am. All right. But some parts of my creation got out of control. What do you mean out of control? And I don't know how to fix this. Fix what? So how can I, I don't know what to do. He likes to drive very fast and this scares me to death. Well, that can be exciting. Yes, very exciting. exciting and it's a little bit too much exciting. All right, and I assume you have asked him to slow down a bit? Yes, I asked him, but... But he prefers not to? Yes. All right. Have you explored why he chooses to do that? Because there can be both positive and negative reasons. Yes. It excites him. Yes. Because? It brings him in the moment. All right. And he's then very conscious and very much much in the moment and very much himself. So he's using it that way? Yes? He's using it that way? I don't think so. So in my reality... No, no, no, no, no. Listen again. Okay. You said you asked him why he does it? Yes. And he told you that it brings him into the moment. Yes. So that's how he's using that experience, yes? Yes. All right. So if he's using the experience in a positive way, what are you afraid of? When I'm with him in the conversation, I don't like it. All right. You wish to be in the moment in another way? Yes. Yes. I would like to be in another way in the moment, yeah. But in a different way? Yes. All right. Yes, yes. Therefore, when you are together, why don't you drive? Yeah, we tried this. We tried this. What do you mean you tried it? We made it. I was driving. Yes. Well, then? Then he got upset. About what? About my driving. Sounds to me like you are driving each other crazy. Yes. So you are exploring what on your planet might euphemistically be called the Goldilocks principle. Not too fast, not too slow, just right for both of you. Yes. seeking balance. That's what you are reflecting to each other right now. Yes. So that's your exploration. Nothing wrong with that. Just know that that's what you're doing. You are looking to create and co-create balance between you in a way that allows each of you to experience what you believe you prefer to experience without in any way shape or form diminishing the other.

not too slow, just right for both of you. Yes. seeking balance. That's what you are reflecting to each other right now. Yes. So that's your exploration. Nothing wrong with that. Just know that that's what you're doing. You are looking to create and co-create balance between you in a way that allows each of you to experience what you believe you prefer to experience without in any way shape or form diminishing the other. Because the idea of relationships is to support the other in becoming more of who they are. So the idea is, is to form a way, to find a way, to use your imaginations and create a way somehow that both of you can experience what you really prefer to experience and, at the same time, when you choose to share moments together, can create an experience that benefits you both. That you both prefer. Yes? Yes. It's a matter of having the willingness and the understanding that that's what the relationship is about. And the way that's what the relationship is about. willingness to explore to find out what that balance would look like, how it can be expressed. Many times when people refuse to find a balance, it's simply because they have a belief within them that they don't think there's any other way to have their wish fulfillment granted. But it may simply be that there are other ways they simply don't know of because they have never looked for another way. But when you get down to the basic wish that underlies everything, you may find that it's far simpler than you think. and can be fulfilled in many different ways. But many people not knowing that may insist that it has to be fulfilled in a particular way because they simply have never explored what the actual basic wish is that could actually be fulfilled in a number of ways. So they have to get in touch with what is that basic thing they are attempting to fulfill. And why? And then when they can understand what it is, they can understand they can understand that many more ways in which it can be fulfilled. Are you willing to explore this with each other? Yes, yes. All right. If you find that he is resistant to exploring, then what he actually may be doing is driving you away. You understand? Yes. And if that is what he chooses to do, your ability to be unconditional loving enough to show him what the consequence of his choice is will give him the opportunity to recognize what he truly prefers. Because if you thus then say, if you are not even willing to explore the idea of how this can actually work for both of us, then you are really not in a relationship with me. Anyway, so why am I here? Yes, yes. You understand?

do, your ability to be unconditional loving enough to show him what the consequence of his choice is will give him the opportunity to recognize what he truly prefers. Because if you thus then say, if you are not even willing to explore the idea of how this can actually work for both of us, then you are really not in a relationship with me. Anyway, so why am I here? Yes, yes. You understand? And thus then by thus, thus removing yourself, you are showing what the actual physical reflection or consequence is of his choice and thus giving him an opportunity to decide, oh well, all right, wait a minute, I actually do prefer to be in a relationship with who you really are. So let me find out who you really are and see how we can form a balance here. If he chooses not to, then you're not in a relationship anyway. So what difference does it make if you're there or not? Yes, exactly, but thanks God. He's willing to explore. Then explore. Then explore. So can you help me? Can you give me a link in... I just did. You have to allow yourselves to examine what is the basic wish fulfillment that underlies the way in which he's expressing it. In other words, for example... Yes, please. Some people may say, well, I need to do this and I need to do it exactly this way. And all they're actually saying is I need to feel approval. I need to feel approval. feel love. But when you bring it down to that basic wish fulfillment, that basic expression, I just need to feel love and approval and my own self-worth. Once you recognize that that's what's behind that expression, you can then say, well, wait a minute. There are many ways to express the idea of being loved and feeling my self-worth. It doesn't have to be that particular expression. That's just a surface. idea. It's not the true core idea that I really want to experience. Now that I know there are many ways in which I can feel this, let me examine and let me explore and find some ways that might be compatible for both of us. Because it's all about just allowing the basic idea to be fulfilled, not necessarily a particular expression of it. Yes. Does that make sense? Yeah, that's great. So you have to have the imagination and the willingness to sit down and use your imagination to explore to find out what is the basic need that needs fulfillment, and then allow yourself to say, well, how else can that be fulfilled? What else can I do for you to fulfill that? What else can you do for me to fulfill that? Yes. You understand? And then you find the idea of the balance. Great. But you have to be willing to explore it that way. Yes. Does that make sense?

to explore to find out what is the basic need that needs fulfillment, and then allow yourself to say, well, how else can that be fulfilled? What else can I do for you to fulfill that? What else can you do for me to fulfill that? Yes. You understand? And then you find the idea of the balance. Great. But you have to be willing to explore it that way. Yes. Does that make sense? Yes, I will do that. All right. Thank you so much. This helped me a lot. All right. You're welcome. Thank you so much. Or you can just both go see a shrink. Because it's really all about shrinking your expectations, focusing them down to the core idea. What is really at the heart of your experience and your reflection.